Monday Musings #99 🤬

99 Mondays, baby!

Good Monday, Gamer!

“99 percent of who you are is Invisible! Untouchable even!”
— R.B. Fuller, Wizard

Somewhere before Musing #50, I almost quit. Not in a dramatic “burn it all down” way — just a quiet, creeping fatigue. One Monday bled into another. I was juggling projects, client work, travel, games, parenting, you name it. And the idea of sitting down to write something… anything… that didn’t feel hollow? It was a real ask.

But I opened a blank doc anyway.
Typed a sentence. Deleted it.
Then said, _“just PTMFT”_ and just wrote what was in the tank.

And that was that, the whole trick. This series has never been about authority; I play TTRPGs like you. I've been doing it a long damn time, probably just weeks longer than my time slinging code. It’s been about momentum. About staying in the conversation — with myself, with you, with the games we keep orbiting, staying curious, playing all the things.

💾 Patch Notes

If I look back at Musing #1, a few things are clear. I stopped trying to be a broadcaster. I started writing like I talk. Not a brand — just Mad Jay, a moniker from my miniature tourney referee days that stuck.

I made peace with messy output. Some weeks hit hard, and some barely wobble, but something always lands.

I stopped chasing the "need a big idea" every week.

Now it’s about where I'm at, what's on my plate — even if the work is a dead-end or a nap. Because that's how it is. Some weeks games fall through, IRL interrupts, the family needs me first. You know. Other weeks...nothing but net.

What’s Been Deprecated:

I don’t feel the urge to teach in every post. I give you what I have; take what is useful to you.

The impulse to package every thought.

The stress of platform-polishing. If Grammarly doesn't catch it. It's loosed upon the wilds.

I Still Don’t Know What I’m Doing

I’m not saying that as false humility; I mean it as a practice. Every time I sit down to write, I ask:

> What’s still live in my creative system?

> What’s pulsing? What’s broken? What’s just waiting for light?

This newsletter isn’t a map. It’s not even really a journal. It’s a pulse check — on projects, identity, and this weird life we’ve all built around play and gaming. So yeah, I still don’t know what I’m doing.

But 99 Mondays in, I’ve learned that not knowing is a solid place to write from. It’s honest. It’s present. It’s working for me.

Next week is Musing #100. And I don't know what's in there. Maybe a best of list, maybe an aspirations list.

For now, thanks for being here. For reading. For replying. For rolling with me.

ICYMI

📚 Dictionary of Mu
Judd released the Dictionary of Mu PDFs this week. It's an excellent set of Sword and sorcery game situations and prompts. You know what to do!

🚀 The Ethernaut (Netflix)
Just finished Season 1 and these MFers better greenlight a Season 2, like, yesterday.
WTF is even going on here?!

🚨 CBR+PNK One-Shots Incoming!
I’m running CBR+PNK this week, 5/15 18:00 CT, using my app — Mad-Dice.com to dogfood and stress it under real play conditions. There are still a few crew slots open, it’s CBR+PNK + The BAMA (Gibson) + Gone in 60 Seconds. If you want to run with Memfhiz's crew boosting rides in the BAMA...HMU.

Catch ya next week!